I’m making my way through a strange time. My grandmother died a couple of weeks ago, and she was one of the biggest influences on me. I’m sharing this with you all as a way to begin to explain my approach and headspace. I’ve loved noise for as long as I can remember. I am fond of feedback and drones, but also the mundane things like the sound of water and the hum of traffic. In the last couple of weeks, however, something inexplicable has happened, and I’ve found myself very sensitive to sound. It isn’t an irritant, but it’s more like it’s overwhelming. The noise in a supermarket is thicker than a Sonic Youth show. The voice of my daughter in the car is like a riot cop megaphone. It’s getting better, and I’m starting to find some good in listening to music again. All of this is leading to my explanation of this piece: I imagined the way I’m hearing now, and how it would feel to stand in the abandoned disquiet theater we’re all working around. I imagined breath, heartbeats, echoes, wind through some rudimentary beatboxing that I pitched down and sent through some reverb, a little dirt and a filter. Best wishes. Oh, and this is probably not the ideal place, but since I gave the big note of my loss, I will add what a great comfort it was to feel that I had said all I wanted to her. She knew my love, and I knew hers. When the time comes for loss, that is huge; If I were to give some unrequested advice, I’d say let the people around you know how you feel. It may mean more to you both than you can imagine. Cheers- RSM
