A scream into music. I’ve had those dreams where I really need to scream but can’t. Pressure building inside, fear, dread, painful, invisible like a cancer, growing and eating me from within. I open my mouth and–nothing. The organ that turns pain into sound has failed.
That’s how I’ve felt since my close friend Martin passed away on August 15. Martin and I played music together for close to 10 years. We had lost another close friend and bandmate, Steve, just this April.
It seems inadequate to say that his passing has left a hole. It feels like a gaping wound was torn through my chest and I can barely breathe, let alone scream or cry, just hurt and bleed.
I bought the guitar shown in the video recently–it’s the model Martin played (a Stratocaster), 1978, very beat up but functional. I usually play other guitars because that was his guitar, he really owned that sound. Listening to him play was like watching lightning in the distance at night, quiet, then a rumble and flash, fading and approaching, ebbing and flowing, beautiful.
This piece of music just fell out of me. I don’t have it in me to scream into a recorder. I’m pretty sure nothing would come out. Thanks for listening.
Gear used:
1978 Fender Stratocaster
Cuvave Fuzz
Dunlop mini-Wah
MXR Uni-Vibe
Hotone Krush
Vaux Flores DOSWave
Jamman XT Looper
TC Electronic Nova Delay
Recorded on my iphone using Sennheiser binaural microphones