Disquiet Junto Project 0532: Other Means

I’ve been seeing the same therapist now for 10 years or so now. But, still, there are things I am paranoid or worried about that I will never talk to her or anyone about. I’m worried that, if I do, she’ll say, “You have good reason to be worried about that,” and confirm my worst fears.

In this piece, I tried to get in my head when I’m the most confused, discouraged, and ruminative. I wrote a basic melody and then added a lot of effects.


Some people seem to get annoyed at the fact that some cars fuel is electricity, the fact that the vehicle does not have a combustion engine (this sentence does not feel correct, but…). I don’t understand what’s so provocative. There are persons putting down a lot of effort in tarnishing cars not having a combustion engine.
It does not feel productive to try to talk to them about this. Time will tell.

The track is inspired by our EV’s reverse signal.
This track happened so fast. The outcome was not what I had in mind.


thanks for the profound task! In my opinion, the family is the place where talking to each other is so important, but also the place where talking to each other fails and maybe the big silence occurs and therefore many secrets are not told.
I’m on the road right now, composing theater music, “only” have my beloved Lyra 8 with me.
Anyway, I loved recording for this assignment!

Recorded in Ableton Live

Everyone stay healthy and peace on earth!!!


Went for the Unproductive route. It’s attempting to be a mediator, an interpreter, a compiler, a linker, with an alien species that talks in the language of a different species type. No Rosetta Stone here baby!

Thanks for listening. Hope you enjoy.



In 1997, members of a religious cult called Heaven’s Gate believed that the passing of the Hale-Bopp comet would be followed by a spaceship. Convinced that the spaceship would take “true believers” aboard to the Afterlife, several members bought an expensive telescope to gain a better view of the comet. Within days, they requested a refund; when asked why they returned the telescope, they complained that the item was defective because it didn’t show the spaceship in the comet’s wake. Shortly thereafter, all 39 members of the cult killed themselves.

Cognitive dissonance is a term coined by psychologist Leon Festinger to describe the state when a person’s beliefs and behavior contradict one another. It manifests itself in various ways, from what we eat to how we vote. The COVID-19 pandemic was a breeding ground for cognitive dissonance; political and cultural biases invaded factual discourse, impeding our capacity to solve a global condition whose reverberations persist to this day.

Suss Müsik sought to explore the vexatious nature of dissonance using DIY-glitch technologies and manipulated vocalizations. Sounds emitted from handmade devices were recorded to tape and “performed” using a hacked cassette Sony Walkman. The most interesting bits were sampled into loops and run through a grain synth engine. The vocal effect (which features a sample of psychologist Dr. Dan P. McAdams) recalls that of sound art pioneer Alvin Lucier, whose seminal piece I Am Sitting In A Room suggests a new form of musicality: spoken words verbalized and abstracted, the non-tonic becoming tonic and back again.

The piece is titled Festinger and was recorded live to 8-track.


as usual your text is informative and sometimes as interesting as the music. thanks for informing me about Dr Festinger’s interesting concept.
“Cognitive Dissonance”…man now I have to borrow that for a song title.
Or could even be my autobiography’s title, mind…


Thank you, friend! Looking forward to hearing “Cognitive Dissonance.”


What happens to a pack of chewing gum when it goes through the washer?
My first submission to this forum!
Track created in Eurorack using my new Arbhar granular sampling a gamelan orchestra clip, a Morphagene sample of a Japanese flute and bass note from a MiniMod. Some processing with an FXAid and recording in one take into Logic Pro.


This was a challenging project for me, to create something based on when talking doesn’t help.
I find communication difficult and interpreting what people are trying to tell me even more so. I can hear words but I’m blind to their meaning and struggle with ambiguity. I often misread situations or get surprised by people reacting in ways I would not have predicted. Sometimes it’s like trying to tiptoe through a mine field whilst balancing an egg on your nose when trying to work out how to respond to a sociable “how are you?”
Over the years I’ve found ways of compensating and dealing with social communication, little heuristics that help me appear less autistic in the workplace.
This piece is based on that, using heuristics to give an approximation of agency.
I fed some lfos that were retriggered every 8 steps into a matrix mixer, output routed into a sample and hold and quantiser, pitch and gate info triggering a piano multisample. This would create random repeating 8 note sequences, changing the lfo frequencies and matrix routings creating new patterns at the start of a retrigger.
I fed this and some recorded phone line adverts from the '80s into Beads to create a distracting jumble of words and glitches, kinda expressing in sounds what I’m unable to describe in words.


The playlist is rolling:


Reading the prompt, I thought of the last album I released exploring themes of grief and loss. The reason I create art, including music, is to better express complex emotions I find difficult to put words to. It’s not so much that talking about these emotions isn’t helpful, it is that I find that when I try to explain them with words, it feels inadequate and limited. So this is a quick rework of a track composed for that album but not used. Listening to it now, thinking maybe it should have been.


Due to my relative lack of self awareness, I am prone to cutting people off in conversations. To represent this common phenomenon, I asked a musician to send some guitar interjections that would completely hijack the original recording I prepared. The result is my first foray into noise music.

Sinny: synth pads, arrangement
Tooth: electric guitar and distorted synth


That’s a very cool way to put it…


I used a contact mic into the modular to trigger DM77 drum module in the higer range plus capture the mic sounds themselves. Modulated a droning rose oscillator (lich) with 16n.
Modulated a Grandpa and Spa with 16n. Modded my mostly unused TD-3 with four diy mods to make it sound better and created a bassline. This is supplemented with a kontakt Buchla bass patch. Used vst drum Moonkits and effects.

The rest is best not talked about but @melondruie is spot on with his take on music, emotions and setting stuff free by creating. Hope all are well :slight_smile:


Speech is broken music. Words contaminate the acoustic space with meaning and will, and there’s no grace in will.

Made with Maschine+.


This song is about leaving the cave and the tribe. Talking was useless. The only thing left was to take the spears. Follow the stars and find a new place.

MPC live is the main piece of gear in this track. Pads, arpeggios and drum loops are generated in the MPC. Voices are added using EHX Vocoder. Finally, some FX coming from Korg Monotron Delay and Ipad’s Animoog Z.


Without going into detail, I’m dealing with a few things where talking doesn’t seem to be helping. As soon as I read the prompt, I knew the feelings that I wanted to share.

Trapped, claustrophobic, foggy.

Not very cheerful, I’m afraid. Hoping to see some resolution soon.

Made in VCV Rack with a euclidian sequencer, delay, filters, reverb. I edited in Ableton.


I wrote a diary entry for the first two steps and arrived at “my need for love” as an unhelpful topic to talk about. In my first, failed, marriage, I used to tell my wife to “love me” in a silly way here and there. Without knowing what I really wanted, I was expressing some deep need that wasn’t being fulfilled.

I recorded myself saying “love, love, love…” and “love me, love me, …” and ran these through effects (mostly Glitchmachines Fracture) and built an annoying, incessant cacophony of that demand for love I sometimes imposed on my ex-wife. If you can see yourself objectively, it can in fact be irritating and push others way precisely when you need them most. There is even some fantastic empirical research showing evidence of this process. I added some repetitive drums and bass to accompany the love cacophony.

I grabbed some field recordings of her and one of our friends on vacation, just talking about the cats and dogs that we ran into during a walk. The love was there, but it doesn’t necessarily take the shape you want and you can’t force it out of someone and time it or anything. Love is in a lot of places if you learn to pay attention. It was there in the tiny moments, that walk, the cats and dogs…

I created some orchestral music (with Spitfire Audio BBC Symphony Orchestra) to represent the beauty and love in the tiny moments. I arranged the track such that the ambient sound of those moments and the orchestra music only become audible when the “love” demand ceases.

If I had just learned to soak in what is already there, I would have been much more fulfilled. I have learned my lesson and moved on to a much better place. But for those who cannot see this dynamic and suffer or make others suffer because of it, I would wish someone to help them see it.


Thank you for this one!

I am choosing “anger.” While I don’t think ANYTHING is not helpful talking about, I know that I can’t always talk constructively about my own anger until I have walked away and thought about it. So I sought to show in abstract musical language, how my own thoughts transform to the point where I can actually speak about it.

Recorded & mixed Mar 11-13 2022 by Jim Lemanowicz at Blissville Electro-Magnetic Laboratories of Massapequa.

©2022 Jim Lemanowicz

Process notes -

This is comprised of three recordings assembled together on 13 Mar 2022

  • a guitar from 12 Mar 2022, recorded by laying the guitar horizontally on a table and going at it with some metal rods, a glass slide, a plastic bar-thing called a “triller,” an ebow, a bent piece of flat metal and then via a MIMI Fuzz, a Joyo D-Seed II and an Ammoon Pock Loop.
  • a “no-input” Behringer Xenyx 1202 mixer (fed back into itself) from 11 Mar 2022. Look for Sarah Belle Reid’s videos on the subject for more info on how that is done. That was my first time doing that.
  • There are also some sliced bits from an older track, a 10 Mar 2012 guitar track where I used some of Live’s random MIDI capability to then trigger the slices.

As this type of guitar/noise recording has some roots in some of my own experiments from the early 90s on 4-track, I’ve tried to simulate that by almost not allowing more than 4 tracks to be playing at once, along with some tube/tape settings from Live’s native devices. As the track progresses, I mix in Live’s Echo device and Live’s Hybrid Reverb device. I then mastered this by using iZotope Ozone Elements.