@dnealelo - thanks for opening this topic with such honesty and sensitivity,
and to everyone else for your openness in sharing.
my family and I held a funeral for my wife yesterday - the end of a 3+ year battle with cancer.
like @yams, I’m stunned by this community - i’ve been connecting more actively here recently because I know I’ll need a few things to focus on creatively in the coming weeks/months/years, but wasn’t looking beyond technical and some process discussion, yet today I find this!
I’m not rushing to fill the spaces left by my loss - I have lots of family and friends around and feel well supported.
Part of what I find important here among this group of people is that the appreciation of, and in fact probably the commitment to, minimalism as an aesthetic and a philosophy leaves room (at least for me) to be open, have space, let feelings arise, in the midst of being creative in what is often a very technical “left brain” context.
I was just reading some Jung (I guess as people do at times like this).
“Joy at the smallest things comes to you only when you have accepted death. But if you look out greedily for all that you could still live, then nothing is great enough for your pleasure, and the smallest things that continue to surround you are no longer a joy. Therefore I behold death, since it teaches me how to live.”
When I read that, weirdly I actually thought of how that is a parallel for creative constraints often being very productive - accepting limitation as a way of movinging deeper / moving forward - instead of seeking to “have it all”.
Then I stumbled onto this thread!
For me, I don’t know where my creative process will lead me or how things will unfold - I’m not rushing and I know it may take years to process what has just occured.
I made one audio visual piece 6 months ago after the passing of a friend’s wife who was also going through the same treatment process. I’m happy to share the link here:
The piano part was free improvisation. The extended sample from The Great Learning was something that randomly emerged from Radio Music (i only worked out later what the sample was). Other bits and pieces came from other parts of modular. Video was added after the audio was finished,
About a year ago I made another a/v piece with a group of friends with whom I’d been studying butoh. It was loosely based on one members process of grieving for the sudden death of a close friend. She’d made the large piece of material that is used as a prop in this piece as part of her grieving process, and shared that story with us before we started. Everything else was improvised and filmed with very little planning and no retakes. I edited the footage later, but the form of the piece really just emerged naturally from the material. The sound is mostly a modular improv done in one take (again Radio Music helped a lot).
I’ve not shared these pieces widely, apart from screenings at a regular a/v event I co-host, but I’m happy to share them here.
I’ve found these pieces to be really important creative processes - and in the case of the piece for my friend’s wife - important personally too.
I’m not sure what comes next in my own journey, creatively and otherwise, but that’s ok. This post is already much more that 20 characters so it is time to stop
Thanks for collectively creating a safe place where this kind of sharing and discussion can happen.