One suggestion would be to download terms and reverse engineer stuff: http://monome.org/docs/app/terms/
I’d argue that programming the grid itself isn’t amazingly difficult. I keep a cheap and cheerful repository of readymades for the grid : https://github.com/Toddberticus/MaxEngineTemplate which should get you up and running with simple ‘how do I get the lights on and off’ stuff, and none of it should be too challenging to get in M4L.
If you haven’t looked at it, be sure to check : http://monome.org/docs/grid-studies/max/
I don’t think M4L presents any real amazing difficulties on it’s own; you’re handling audio differently, and can’t save as a standalone app, but otherwise, “it’s just Max”.