i use a Chauvet DMX controller that has MIDI.
that seemed to be the easiest approach for me.
(i had to teach myself all about light systems…but i admittedly am not a super authority)

as far as avoiding cheap looking Pause & Play crap…
it really depends on the light fixture.
as i discovered…each fixture can do some things really well and not so well if not at all.
kinda like audio effects…
a distortion pedal will do what it does well.
however you are not going to get a delay or chorus sound out of it.
for instance…
i have several Q-spots…these are moving head lights that will produce millions of colors, has gobos and strobe.
however…the strobe effect is NOT like having a STROBE that produces the ever so populoar epileptic seizure inducing effect.
also be aware that the lights can be a bit slow to react.
i always have to move everything a 32nd note early so the lights would be perfectly quantized with the music.
here is some live footage from my old band Morgue City…we played everything to a click so we could have electronics and noiz with us onstage. the band consisted of only drums, guitar and vox so we wanted to make more of a show out of it.