Father of 2 here (two boys, first 5y and 2nd 8 months). What can i add that hadn’t been said?
For me, i would say becoming a parent let you see your goals and the time you think they need to be achieved a bit differently.
There’s a form of “hypocondriac mindset” that can make you see your time as a form of capital you have to use with great care. As if it was the most precious thing in the world, the key to all achievements etc.
In fact, it’s not.
Time is not something we own or preserve, it’s only something meant to be used. Having more or less of it doesn’t seem to me as the real question.
Maybe i’m wrong, but i feel there will always be people who will never find “enough” time, and will see everything as an obstacle in their way : a day job, a partner, a child etc. Focusing on the mean becomes then the best way to forget the goal, or to loose oneself in procrastination, doubt etc.
For example i’ve realized how much of my time where spent (before i had my first child) on sterile egotic ruminations, half-baked tentatives and most of all … in sleep! What a waste… Parenthood made me think more clearly about myself.
You can’t lie or tell yourself bullshit when you have to go to work after a night crushed by a new born. You’re in for the real thing. It’s not a trap, it’s what you do. And it’s more solid than the ideas you may have had about what you may be worth or what awaits you if you manage to succeed here or there. At least that’s the way i felt it.
I don’t think productivity or achievement depends that much on time in the end. Much less in fact than we tend to think. It’s the way we see through time what we want to do, not the mean we think we need to do it.
It’s not about preparation, it’s about getting any job done in fact.
And to be honest, i find now quite liberating to know there’s always something more important than “my” time.
(Hope it’s not too “patronizing”! Never said i can’t feel frustrated sometime huh!)
