In my case – complete separation. It’s not a healthy circumstance and has led to a lot of negativity.
Work is probably the easiest element to separate. Long ago I was fortunate to find something that I could do. While I never really had an interest in the work, it allowed me to escape from some really difficult circumstances. Sure, it’s tough dealing with the “true believers”, but as long as I don’t confront the horror of looking too far beyond the present, I can manage.
The idea of going back to school and pursuing something I actually care about is too remote, so I try not to think about it. I remember where I came from and why things ended up the way they did.
Outside of work is where things get really difficult. I’m split between communities that simply don’t communicate due to deep-seated cultural issues, and I feel inadequate to the task of opening up ways of communication. And then I’m forced into the mode of constantly having to think through these broader issues, which essentially becomes a third thing.
Indeed, I really could simplify things by giving up music. Something, however, keeps calling me back, and that something is not exactly hope. Rather than give up music entirely, I’ve more or less taken it “private”, if it ever was anything more than that.
So I can’t offer answers – I can only describe challenges and the ways in which I’ve failed so far to address them. Hopefully others fare better, and I can learn something from them.