Pretty sure if there was a real Metronomic Society, they would be my arch-enemies.
Had grand dreams of 4-part barbershop harmonies and recording this on a saloon-worthy upright, but no time. This will have to do!
Lyrics:
Have you got an employee
who can’t get the job done?
Can’t tell if he’s behind or if
he hasn’t begun
We’ve got your solution
give us time and you’ll see
We’re the Metronomic Society!
If someone dawdles
or if they make haste,
the result’s all the same:
chronological waste.
We’ll fix his gears good
give us a minute and see
the Metronomic Society!
I used to talk long walks in the park…
[not anymore!]
I used to sleep in
[oh what a bore!]
I used to hang out with my friends
[gee, what for?]
I used to take the road less travelled, even though my GPS said it might add 3 minutes to my ETA.
[Oh the hor-ror!]
So if you’ve got employees
wrapped up in their life,
treat that second hand
like an emotionless scythe.
We’ll help you cull the herd,
we give you our word.
We’re the Metronomic Society.