Even after over 20 years of playing out, I still get terrible stage-fright and usually prefer to have my back to the audience. In this way, they can see what I’m doing as opposed to assuming I’m checking my email or occasionally pushing a sample button or whatever… and I can focus on my gear and the sound without worrying about all the random shit floating through my brain that doesn’t matter as far as the performance.
For example, if my set up was flipped and I was facing the audience, there was a particular show I’d be really worried about the girl who was “too close” with her beer and swaying a little, but it was unnoticed and ignored until people afterwards mentioned “I thought that girl was going to fall on you and spill her beer on your table” etc.
There’s also plenty of footage of me facing the audience and I usually just make the venue turn all the lights off and try to stare at the modular to minimize eye contact.
This is all stemming from social anxiety, I dont know why I’ve chosen to play music live with the level of it I suffer from.
In contradiction, everytime I’ve played a “normal” instrument in a “normal” band I am a total goon and do lots of silly moves and jump around for the audience’s visual benefit.
But when I play solo shows I am a bundle of anxiety.
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